Post-Mortem: A Minecraft Movie Manifesto

BEGAN WORK: 4/2/25
UPLOADED: 4/24/25

An Explanation Before Proceeding

Hello. I received a comment on my latest video containing this exact text: 

"Another great video with great editing. Keep it up and I know you put a lot of effort into these but please upload faster or showcase how much work it takes so I don't complain like an entitled sob."

I assume they meant "snob" at the end, something I am aware could be construed as snobbish in pointing out. Anyway, it was an interesting comment that I found some value in; it made me consider typing my brief thoughts on the video's creation somewhere so posterity can know what goes into making a thirty-minute Video Essay on A Minecraft Movie. If I acknowledge how deeply pathetic this entire conceit is, I will have to unlock deeper truths within myself which I refuse to do. Sorry. 

The proceeding post-mortems for later videos will be much more in-depth than this one. I will try to make little notes to include regarding the creative process as I go along. This one is intended to be a small sample of the idea, all things considered.

Also I did not proof this at all before posting. Frankly these are my unfiltered and barely-edited thoughts. So there may be a multitude of typos. Consider them beauty marks.

My Muse

My friend forced me to go to this awful movie. I was absolutely sickened by the idea that we had to go and see it. I begged him to see Mickey 17 instead, and he refused. I still haven't seen Mickey 17. I honestly blame myself for it bombing, although it may not be good either. But it may be good.

I began writing my thoughts on the evolution of children's entertainment media much earlier than April 2, but none of that ever made it into the video, and I don't count it as having contributed. April 2 was the first day that I wrote the segment in the final third of the video concerning A Minecraft Movie Frosted Flakes that "turns your milk creeper green, original flavor." I remained in a state of thorough disgust on the way home, where I really did see some sort of unrecognizably maimed carrion on the side of the road. The dialogue I wrote down and included in the video was verbatim. I honestly saw myself in that dead animal. 

I saw more of myself in that animal than I often do in the mirror. In the mirror, I see all the acne spots on my face. I also see that in the footage when I edit. I am waiting for the day someone chides me for my acne. I genuinely and sincerely attempt a facial cleaning routine, but I think the stress overrules whatever gets put on my face. It seems that, generally speaking, anything I try is overruled by the stress. I also do NOT think acne is something to be deservingly insulted. I just worry over that. I receive many comments comparing me to that unibrowed dream man, The Good Doctor, a Beatle, etc. Not all insults, but many insulting. I digress, Minecraft.

"Hammering" "It" "Out"

The video script gave me a lot of grief. I had recently read Slaughterhouse-Five and just loved it all over. I wanted to replicate that style of chronological jumping, though I immediately ruled out the sporadic Tralfamadorian travel Billy experiences in the book. It was just too high-concept for a Video Essay, and too confusing to map out of real life. I opted for a Rewind --> Present (Commentary) --> Rewind --> Present (Commentary) approach that I felt replicated that push-and-pull well enough. I wanted it to feel like I would descend into some folly or another while I reminisced, then my present, commentating self would return to the Video Essay equivalent of the present, the part where a white boy with a microphone is crying at you. 

Editing also gave me grief. My Macbook Air sucks and I honestly hate Final Cut Pro. I used to have the Adobe Suite. I guess it really is a "rock vs. hard place" sort of match-up between Premiere and Final Cut. I do like Final Cut's weird organic timeline. I do NOT like Final Cut's rendering system that adds 500+ gigabytes to my single-terabyte hard drive with 3-4 hours of editing. That is what Mr. Steve Jobs would call "$%*$@*." Incidentally, something Steve Jobs would NEVER call is the child he had out of wedlock. Really "someone," but the joke would not have worked that way, which is the only reason I said it like that. I apologize. I only meant to point out that Steve Jobs was an unkind individual. I read his biography in 6th grade. Someone told him he had no soul in his eyes and I always remembered that exchange. Irrespective of that he made someone make the iPhone, so surely he was a genius. 

The worst thing I had to do in the course of editing was buy Minecraft again. My account really HAD expired. Another $30 down the drain. I keep trying to play a little bit so I can get more of my money's worth out of it. The shader pack I installed was called "BSL Shaders" and it does spruce the whole thing up a bit. Sucks I had to buy it though. Really that does mean the circle of consumerism was complete. The movie made me buy the game. I did not include this detail in the video as I thought it would be "too meta" and also, quite honestly, I was ashamed.

Regrets

A Minecraft Movie is an unnecessary musical. In that spirit, I wanted to make an EP about each dollar amount I spent on my outing that day. I only ended up creating two songs, one I did include in the video entitled "$55.36" which I thought was adequately funny-bad. The other was a song called "Emma Myers" where I ask actress and A Minecraft Movie star Emma Myers to go to Denny's with me. This was a subplot I wanted to include in the video, which I thought humanized my Video Essay persona a little bit, that he seemed to seek approval and connection from/to some aspect of A Minecraft Movie. I thought it would lessen the sting of me near-exclusively referring to Jack Black as "Hack Black." I worked the Meyers plot in through my trail of editor's notes, but otherwise abandoned the portions in the script dedicated to it, and the song. I was concerned it would come across, as a relative of mine would say, "Creepy Weird." Although I think the song is also pretty funny. I may upload both in full one day, or bury that shame forever in my h(e)ar(t)d drive. 

As an additional note, I do not personally feel that Emma Myers and I should ever meet or interact in any way. I don't feel that I should even have to say that, or that I should say that, as it implies that I am in any way a contributing factor to whether or not Emma Myers would want to speak to me. In summation: I APOLOGIZE TO EMMA MYERS. If I were to ever interact with Emma Myers, I would ask a question about something she said in a Variety interview I read while conducting research for the video. She said:

“I am a fantasy lover — it’s my favorite genre... It’s what I grew up reading; it’s what I grew up watching. I don’t know — there’s just something so magical about it.”

I don't really get that. It seems like sort of circular logic to me. That would be like if I said, "I like memoirs, there's just something so autobiographical about them." It's just odd. Maybe a by-product of media training. I feel like actors are media trained to say sentences the length of a perfunctory interview that contain the information of a perfunctory telegram.

See, there's that ol' snobbishness coming out again. I APOLOGIZE!!!!

Also that was NOT a question. I AM SORRY.

Conclusion

I think the video is my best one yet. I hate that movie and I hold anyone involved with its creation in contempt that I will either learn to let go in time, or allow to consume me wholly and blot out any semblance of joy I may yet feel in this life. Anyway, that is all I have to share for this one.

Reading

Today I finished Go Tell It On The Mountain by James Baldwin. It took longer than usually as each reading session was frankly crushing. Phenomenal book. I am embarking on Tender is The Night by F. Scott Fitzgerald next. His final completed novel. I have heard good things. Few things, but good things. I like the way Scotty makes his sentences last forever. Mine always seem to end before they get good.